I have mentioned in passing that I stopped dying my hair. The lighter blonder look I have been sporting is part of this process. I started going grey in my twenties. And before anyone mentions a copper deficiency or stress let me stop you right there. Everyone in my family on both sides who was born with dark hair went grey fairly early compared to conventional thoughts on when people go grey. It is genetic. That being said Caucasian women are only said to be going grey prematurely if you are greying before your twenties. The vast majority of my greying happened through my thirties. I had been dying my hair since my late twenties through to last year just before my 45th birthday. So this is what I have learned one year into my grey hair transition.
Why I chose to grow out my greys
Not that I feel I need to justify my choice to transition to grey hair at 45 but I think there many people out there that don’t fully understand what the upkeep can be like for some people. I have a significant amount of white hair, particularly on the crown and front. I needed to dye my hair at a minimum every month. But in reality I had one week of good hair before my roots would start to show. It got to the point where I wondered what the point was. I was fighting a losing battle! My hair was also very resistant to the colour. I had to leave it on longer and longer just to get good coverage. My hairdresser also commented on this when she would dye my hair.
I started following the #silversister community and realized that grey hair didn’t make women look older. That was just something that the hair dye companies had sold as a lie to make you think you HAD to colour your hair. The more I followed along the more I realized that grey was just another hair colour and it could be beautiful too.
How I chose to grow out my greys
There are so many ways you can go grey. Cold turkey, dye your hair grey or colour matching, colour blending. You can shave your head and just regrow your hair without the pesky dyed ends. I started by not actually stopping dying my hair for the first 6 months. I know that doesn’t make a lot of sense but let me explain.
The process I used is called the dye strip method. The idea is that you dye your part only. So at least in the early days of growing out your grey underneath you can’t really see it that well. Then once you have grown out the under layers of hair you flip your part and hide the section that still needs to grow out. The benefit of this grey grow out method is that it saves you from the very obvious line of demarcation that comes with going cold turkey. And in the beginning it worked great. But by about 6 months in I had had enough.
The draw backs of this method are that once a you have an obvious amount of grow out it peaks through. I was trying to dye as little of my hair as possible. But when you have 6 months of grow out the grey peeks out just as starkly as if I had a line of demarcation. It also got harder and harder to keep my new hair pristine.
In order to just dye my part and not get any of that dye on my fresh grow out I had to use a barrier cream. And to be honest since I am not a hairdresser it was in no way perfect. I found Eucerin cream worked the best but you have to be liberal and really good at covering all the hair you don’t want dyed. And getting Eucerin cream cleaned out of your hair is not easy. I would wash my hair multiple times to get the barrier cream out.
By March of this year I got my hairdresser to give me babylights, a chop and I stopped dying completely. I had wanted to go a lighter ashy blond on top but the problem with dying your hair dark as long as I have it will only lift so far.
One of the things you hear the most from the #silversister community is to not dye your hair blond to transition. And there are some horror stories. About how the hair goes blorange. About how their hair was so damaged they had to cut it all off. To be honest I wouldn’t recommend going blond all over. You are very likely not going to get the colour you want and it will damage your hair. But my experience with getting babylights mostly only on the top layer that I had continued dying was excellent. Do I wish I could have gotten a cooler less yellow colour, sure. But the white that would pop out blended with the colour much better. And while yes that section of hair was dryer it wasn’t completely damaged.
So where am I now one year into my grey hair transition? I still have a ways to go. I am about one good chop from getting rid of the dark tips that I have on the ends of my hair. The undersection that had a head start is almost done. But I want to grow my hair for a few more months before I do this as I want to cut off as much as possible when I do go for a hair cut. The top section will need more time. Probably two or three more cuts.
5 things I have learned one year into my grey hair transition
- It will take longer than you think -The saying is a year to your ear. Which means if you are looking to grow out your greys without shaving your head or getting pixie cut it will take about two years to transition fully. If you have longer hair and are not willing to get a significant cut it could take even longer.
- People will have comments – so far I haven’t had many nasty comments but I have seen the look of well I would never do that on peoples faces. I am lucky that I have supportive people in my circle. Particularly my coworker who transitioned over covid.
- You still might not know your pattern – A year in and I know that I am more white on top than underneath and at the back. But I still can’t really envison how it will look once I am fully grown out.
- Your hair texture doesn’t necessarily change – some people talk about how their grey hairs come in curly or wirey. Or their grey hair is dryer. My greys don’t feel that different. They feel finer because my fine hair got beefed up with the colour but overall my texture is fairly similar.
- You will mourn your old hair – This transition process is hard. You are going against what society is telling you to do. You will likely want to quit and just dye your hair again more than once. Lately I look at old blog posts and I desperately miss my old hair colour.
So one year into my grey hair transition I am not fully transitioned. I have at least 6 more months of grow out I think and at least one more big chop. I am looking forward to being on the other side and rocking my greys into my late 40s and beyond.